Sarcastiholic

2010 NFL Season – Divisional Round – Cowboys at Vikings

The first game of Sunday will feature the last NFC matchup between the Vikings and the Cowboys. This game really doesn’t give me anyone to root for.

One hand, the Cowboys are probably my least favorite team in the entire NFL. America’s Team? No wonder the rest of the world hates our guts.

On the other are the Minnesota Vikings. As a Bears’ fan I really can’t root for success by these guys and Brett Favre in particular.

This does not mean that I can’t or won’t enjoy this game. They actually match up pretty well. Both teams feature a solid running complemented by a groups of young, and upcoming wide receivers all led by gunslingers at the quarterback position.

Tony Romo’s idol growing up in Wisconsin? Hmm… I guess that would be Favre.

I like the even matchup of the Cowboys’ enormous offensive line against the Vikings’ defensive ability to stop the run and get pressure on the quarterback. That should make for some good battles in the trenches, and that’s where it all starts after all.

Meanwhile, Dallas’ front seven have been playing outstanding football and they will get to tee off against a Vikings team that will need to prove that their line is as good as the pundits have claimed.

The play of the secondary has been the Achilles’ heel of both of these teams throughout the regular season. However, the Dallas secondary has played better over the final games of the season whereas the Vikings have been flat.

Actually, the Vikings have been flat on both sides of the ball for their final games of the regular season and that is not the way you want to enter the playoffs.

Dallas is feeling their oats, and the Vikings are not.

Turnovers will be the key to the game (as they usually are). And staying true to form, I expect Brett Favre to have a meltdown by throwing the ball up for grabs. I also expect for the Dallas defense to swarm on Adrian Peterson and get him to cough up the ball like he often does.

Dallas wins.

2010 NFL Season - Wild Card - Eagles at Cowboys

The second game of Wild Card Weekend is a rematch of the Eagles and the Cowboys. Rematch, after rematch, after rematch…

I’m taking the Eagles in the upset.

This is mostly based upon my feelings that the Cowboys will continue to choke in the offseason despite their finally getting a winning record in December. Yes, I know their last game was played in January. This was pointed out to Wade Phillips by reporters when he said the same thing.

Bottom line, the Eagles tend to win their playoff games (early rounds) and the Cowboys don’t.

I do have to admit that the Dallas offense is more balanced than the Eagles. Dallas has gotten their running game going with a healthy Felix Jones adding a big play threat to Marion Barber’s punishing running style. And now the Cowboys have found their number one wide receiver in Miles Austin. That’s a pretty good one – two punch. That will make it very hard for the Eagles’ defense to try and focus on one area of the Cowboys’ offense.

I just don’t have any faith in Tony Romo, or I should say that I have complete faith in his playoff record. He’s a good quarterback. He just has never been able to put it together at the end of the season.

That’s okay, though. I really don’t like the Cowboys anyways. I really won’t mind when the Eagles go in and get the win.

Too bad for Wade Phillips though. He’s a good coach but if he doesn’t get this win, Jerry Jones is going to have him dragged through the million dollar parking lot at his new stadium while Donovan and Mama McNabb eat a celebratory bowl of Chunky Soup.

2010 NFL Season - Week 10 Picks

Week 10 of the NFL season is here and the games now begin on Thursday every week.

For those of you complaining that you can’t watch the game because it is on the NFL Network, get over it. Get a different cable provider or go to a bar. You either want to see these games or you don’t. Simple as that.

Of course, you probably really don’t want to see tonight’s matchup of a 3 – 5 team hosting a 4 – 4 team, but there it is. It’s still football, and it’s still the only thing worth watching on TV.

What else would you do? Watch the NBA?

Dumbass.

Chicago at San Francisco:
I’m taking the Bears to win this game because I’m an even bigger dumbass than somebody who thinks the NBA is a great league.

In order to win, the Bears need to focus on stopping Frank Gore. Simple as that. The rest of the game would sort itself out if they can stop the running game. Problem is, the Bears have not been able to do that lately and are now giving up an average of 119 yards on the ground.

The offense needs to get going early and score points. If the Bears can get the score up early on the 49ers they will have to abandon the running game and rely on Alex Smith to win the game.

Atlanta at Carolina:
Atlanta wins this game and gets another notch under their belt in the closing weeks of the wild card race in the NFL. This is a division game so it won’t be an easy win, but the Falcons will win.

Tampa Bay at Miami:
Miami wins. The Buc’s win against the Packers last week was an aberration. They will not get it done on the road this week.

Detroit at Minnesota:
This has a feeling of a trap game all over it, but I am still going to take the Vikings over the lowly Lions this week. The Vikings are coming off a bye week and might have gotten fat and lazy with all of that time off while they reflect on the Super Bowl win they are already telling themselves is theirs.

Fat and lazy? Time to stack up on some Star Caps.

Jacksonville at NY Jets:
Jets win. I don’t like it, but I don’t see them losing to the Jaguars at home this week. I hate the Jets, so I would really like to see them lose. Especially at home. I want to see that jerk with the Jets fireman hat cry.

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh:
The Bengals are on a roll this season. They’ve beaten Baltimore twice and already beaten the Steelers once. That stops this Sunday. Steelers win at home and start to close the gap for the AFC North.

New Orleans at St. Louis:
C’mon. New Orleans is going to beat the living hell out of the Rams.

Buffalo at Tennessee:
Tennessee takes the win at home. Trent Edwards will be starting for the Bills this week, but they have no mo’ T.O.

Denver at Washington:
Denver gets exactly what it needs after two tough losses in a row coming out of their bye week: The Washington Redskins.

Kansas City at Oakland:
This game was a real toss-up for me. I have to give it to Oakland simply because they are at home.

Seattle at Arizona:
Arizona destroyed the Bears last week on the road. Now they play at home where they have not played as well this season. Arizona pulls a win against a reeling Seahawks team.

Dallas at Green Bay:
I know that the Packers are supposed to be invincible at Lambeau Field. Or at least that’s the myth. Bull. As in bull rush.

The Cowboys’ pass rush will make Aaron Rodgers wish Brett Favre was still in Green Bay. Matt Flynn better take some precautionary snaps with the first team this week because he may be going in before this game is over.

Romo continues his streak of owning the month of November as he gets ready to fall on his face in December. But it’s not December, yet.

Philadelphia at San Diego:
I really hate the San Diego Chargers. But they do play very well at home. The Eagles are falling apart along their offensive line, and that will not bode well in a hostile environment like San Diego. Chargers win. Dammit.

New England at Indianapolis:
Clash of the Titans? What other nifty little things can the media come up with to name their promos for this game?

It actually is though. This is a matchup of two of the best quarterbacks to ever play the game. And we get to watch. If you are not watching this game on Sunday night, you are a communist and should be put against a wall.

Not watching this game will make Baby Jesus cry, and you don’t want that.

In what may be a preview of the AFC Championship game in January, I’m taking the Patriots for the win.

Baltimore at Cleveland:
Wow. I guess I’ll take Baltimore. Brady Quinn gets the nod to start this week, but who knows? If Ray Lewis and Ed Reed have anything to say about it, the Browns might have to put Derek Anderson in after they take Quinn off the field on a stretcher.

2010 NFL Season - Week 09 Picks

There are some interesting games this week, including some great divisional matchups that should make for a great NFL weekend. Then again, every NFL weekend is potentially great.

Washington at Atlanta:
Okay… So this isn’t one of the great matchups this week. Almost any game that Washington is playing this season is only going to be interesting by betting the over/under on how many times the announcer mention whether or not Daniel Snyder is going to fire Jim Zorn.

Atlanta should win this game, but will have to watch out for the Redskins’ defense which is not a pushover. Luckily for the Falcons though, Washington can’t score any points on offense.

Arizona at Chicago:
This week, I’m taking the Chicago Bears to win the game against the Cardinals for several logical reasons.

First off, the Cardinals are playing really well on the road this season. In fact, they are playing better on the road this year than they are at home. So, naturally, I have to go with the Bears.

The next reason is that the Cardinals’ front four has been able to get pretty good pressure as their game against the NY Giants showed. If they can get that kind of pressure against the Giants, just imagine what they should be able to do against an offensive line that allowed four sacks by the Cleveland Browns.

Advantage: Bears.

Another reason I think the Bears will win this game is that Larry Fitzgerald has been waiting for a big, breakout game. And I believe that could just happen against a Bears’ secondary that is notorious for blowing coverage and giving up the big play.

Without a doubt – the Bears all the way.

Houston at Indianapolis:
I have to go with Indianapolis on this game. They dodged a bullet last week against a determined San Francisco team, but should be able to really get their offense going this week against a weak Texans’ defense.

Peyton Manning did not throw a touchdown last week. Look for him to throw four or five this week.

Baltimore at Cincinnati:
I will have to go with the Baltimore Ravens for the win this week in one of the great division matchups this week. I think the Bengals are going to find themselves at the tender mercies of a newly motivated defense that will take extra pains to cause extra pain this week.

If you think that Ray Lewis and the rest of that defense has forgotten that Cedric Benson burned them for over a hundred yards on the ground three weeks ago, you are crazy. Look for the Ravens to come out hitting, and somebody leaving in a body bag.

Kansas City at Jacksonville:
Who cares? I guess I have to make a pick though.

Fine. I’ll take Jacksonville since they are at home.

Green Bay at Tampa Bay:
The “Battle of the Bays” really doesn’t have the same “umph” that it used to have. Especially since the Buccaneers are completely lost as a franchise this year.

The Packers get a little revenge for last week’s loss to Minnesota by taking it out on the Bucs.

Miami at New England:
Here’s another great division game that Bill Belichick had to have circled on the schedule. The Patriots got smacked last year, but last year was last year. And Matt Cassell is not Tom Brady.

Screw you, Miami. Patriots win.

Carolina at New Orleans:
This is another division game that has some potential. Carolina had not been playing very well throughout the season, but seemed to turn it on last Sunday on the road against the Cardinals.

Look for the Panthers to try and duplicate their efforts against the Saints this week. But they won’t. I know the Saints aren’t going to win every game this year, and division games are tough. But I don’t see the Saints losing this game at home, even if they did have a short week.

Detroit at Seattle:
Damn. Um… Seattle at home?

Tennessee at San Francisco:
The 49ers will win this game on defense and attitude. San Francisco knows they need to stop Chris Johnson from running away with the game (that was a good one. Get it?) and force Vince Young to win the game.

Meanwhile, the Titans will have to try and stop Frank Gore.

This actually should make for a good game. And don’t forget to watch the after game handshake between Mike Singletary and Jeff Fisher who were former teammates when they played for the greatest franchise ever. If they don’t kiss, I’ll be really disappointed.

San Diego at NY Giants:
I have to take the Giants for the win this week against the Chargers. I think this is just the kind of game the Giants need in order to get themselves back in the mindset that they can compete for the NFC East title.

They can’t, but this is just the type of game that they need in order to get back to the mindset that they can.

Dallas at Philadelphia:
And Sunday night closes out with another big divisional game when Mama McNabb plays host to Jerry Jones and his fickle appetites. I have to go with Philadelphia for the win against the hated Cowboys.

I have to take the Eagles, because I think they will win, and I really hate the Cowboys.

Tony Romo and the ‘boys have been playing pretty well for the past couple of weeks, but those were home games and one of them was against a much inferior opponent.

Yes, Seattle. I am looking at you.

The Eagles are not the Seahawks. And they are not playing on the road.

Pittsburgh at Denver:
And the Monday night game brings the defending Super Bowl Champion (gag) Pittsburgh Steelers to the new Mile High Stadium, er, I mean Invesco Field, um, I mean Invesco Field at Mile High which is Mile High and built in the parking lot of old Mile High.

The Broncos went off on a tear for their first six games. Then they came back to Earth a bit by getting stomped on by a very pissed off Baltimore team.

The truth be told, the Denver defense have been playing very good football this season. They have only allowed nine touchdowns this season, and three of them came last Sunday against the Ravens.

However, I don’t think that the Broncos are going to be able to pull off a win in primetime against the Steelers this week. Look for some late 4th quarter magic from Roethlisberger and the newly anointed League’s Most Dirty player, Something Something Hines Ward.

2010 NFL Season - Week 02 Picks

Might be going out on a limb on some of these picks, but we’ll see how they turn out.

I originally picked the Cincinnati Bengals to win this game, but then had second thoughts regarding the Green Bay offense. I think the Bengals play this game close due to their underrated defense, but in the end Greg Jennings is the difference maker for another win in the final minutes.

The Arizona Cardinals were terrible on the road in the East Coast last year, and I don’t see that turning around this week. If Anquan Boldin has another lackluster performance due to injury, Jacksonville can key off on Larry Fitzgerald and keep Arizona limited.

I think Oakland looked like a pretty improved team on Monday night and will get a win against a Kansas City team that is still trying to find itself. I’m looking forward to another big day from Richard Seymour and the Oakland running game.

Sorry Rex, but I think it’s time for you to start puckering up and kiss Belichick’s rings. With the way the game ended for them last week, I think Brady is over the hump and he tries to beat Drew Brees’ touchdown count for week one and send a message to the rest of the NFL. We’ll see who gets embarrassed this week.

Speaking of Brees, I think the Saints go into Philadelphia and take one from the Eagles. No McNabb means Kevin Kolb is the starter and that means more turnovers and shorter field position for what could be the NFL’s most lethal offense. I think the Eagles defense, no matter how well it might play, will be spending a lot of time on the field and will have to cover every inch of it especially if the Saints get Pierre Thomas back and combine him with Mike Bell to cram the ball down the Eagles’ throats.

Hats off to the 49ers for getting a win last week in Arizona. Their defense was flying to the ball and Patrick Willis is easily one of the best linebackers in the game right now. I think they face a bigger challenge in Seattle this week and a resurgent Seahawks team. A healthy run game from the Seahawks behind Julius Jones is going to open the passing game for them, and San Francisco is definitely limited with their secondary due to all of the injuries.

Chicago… Chicago… Chicago… I’ve got to go with the Bears this week, because I still think this team can beat anyone on their schedule this year. It’s just up to them to do it and stop giving up last minute touchdowns to the opposing team (unfortunately, this is a Steelers’ specialty). I’m looking for Ron Turner, the Bears’ offensive coordinator, to pull his head out of his ass this weekend and put together a sensible game plan based on the success (and failures) of last week’s game against a 34 defense. This week they go against the king of the 34 in the Steelers, but one who will be without Troy Polamalu to cover the edges. That should allow Forte to get ball on some quick shots from Cutler and keep the Steelers defense moving from sideline to sideline and eventually free up Greg Olsen for some good plays in the middle of the field. Throw deep to Knox and Hester every now and then to keep the safeties honest and then run Forte up the middle and stop trying to get him to turn the corner because he doesn’t have that kind of speed. Hell, you could probably send Hester or Knox deep on every play to just to see if one of them gets single coverage on the outside and just leave that as a second or third reed for Cutler. Keep Roethlisberger in the pocket, collapsing it in towards his movement at the outside rusher to limit his “playmaking” ability. Watch the pump fake because he never throws on his first read and stay on assignment. They don’t have much of a run game to worry about so key in on the passing game. The Steelers receivers are big and physical, so play physical to begin the game. Lose the ever-present 10 yard cushion the DBs are playing with and knock Hines Ward on his ass to begin the game. Take the 15 yard penalties early and let him know he’s going to get his ass knocked down on every play even if he doesn’t have the ball. Double team Ward on third and long but keep a safety deep. Then hit Ward again when he’s drinking his Gatorade on the sideline.

Baltimore should get a win in San Diego. No Tomlinson means they will have to rely solely on Darren Sproles for a balanced attack against one of the better defenses in the league. The Ravens didn’t look too sharp against a very mediocre offense in Kansas City last week and had to rely on their offense to score a lot of points but should be able to keep San Diego’s points down. San Diego can score points in bunches but not as easily without Tomlinson to keep the focus even. Joe Flacco seems like he might have just discovered one of the best tight ends in the league. I expect him to find Todd Heap again for a lot of yards this game. Ray Rice seems to be coming into his own and should have a good game against a San Diego defense that couldn’t stop the run last week.

Dallas plays well in the beginning of the season. I see them continuing that trend with a big game against the New York Giants. Tony Romo will be rolling high for the beginning of the season and get all of that Super Bowl talk going again before folding towards the end of the season. I like the effort put in by the Giants’ new batch of wide receivers last week but look for them to falter against the Cowboys this week as the learning curve continues.