Sarcastiholic

2010 NFL Season – Divisional Round – Cowboys at Vikings

The first game of Sunday will feature the last NFC matchup between the Vikings and the Cowboys. This game really doesn’t give me anyone to root for.

One hand, the Cowboys are probably my least favorite team in the entire NFL. America’s Team? No wonder the rest of the world hates our guts.

On the other are the Minnesota Vikings. As a Bears’ fan I really can’t root for success by these guys and Brett Favre in particular.

This does not mean that I can’t or won’t enjoy this game. They actually match up pretty well. Both teams feature a solid running complemented by a groups of young, and upcoming wide receivers all led by gunslingers at the quarterback position.

Tony Romo’s idol growing up in Wisconsin? Hmm… I guess that would be Favre.

I like the even matchup of the Cowboys’ enormous offensive line against the Vikings’ defensive ability to stop the run and get pressure on the quarterback. That should make for some good battles in the trenches, and that’s where it all starts after all.

Meanwhile, Dallas’ front seven have been playing outstanding football and they will get to tee off against a Vikings team that will need to prove that their line is as good as the pundits have claimed.

The play of the secondary has been the Achilles’ heel of both of these teams throughout the regular season. However, the Dallas secondary has played better over the final games of the season whereas the Vikings have been flat.

Actually, the Vikings have been flat on both sides of the ball for their final games of the regular season and that is not the way you want to enter the playoffs.

Dallas is feeling their oats, and the Vikings are not.

Turnovers will be the key to the game (as they usually are). And staying true to form, I expect Brett Favre to have a meltdown by throwing the ball up for grabs. I also expect for the Dallas defense to swarm on Adrian Peterson and get him to cough up the ball like he often does.

Dallas wins.

2010 NFL Season - Week 17 Picks

The last week of the regular season of the NFL is here.

I am excited for the playoffs to start but I still hate this time of year. The holidays are over. Football is almost over, and all we have to look forward to is the long, cold remainder of winter with an occasional half-ass holiday like President’s Day thrown in until we can at least dig into OTA’s and the NFL Draft.

No more Monday Night Football. No more Thursday night games.

They’re going to stop selling Egg Nog pretty soon, too.

Somewhere, somebody’s puppy just died.

Winter blues…

Now onto the picks!

Indianapolis at Buffalo:
How much playing time do the Colts’ give their starters? Does it really matter? The Bills have no offense right now, and why should the defense give a crap?

I’ll take the Colts to squeeze a win out of the kicker.

New Orleans at Carolina:
The Panthers have been kicking the hell out of everybody the past couple of weeks, but I think the Mojo ends this week when the Saints come marching in.

The Saints have to pull it together and win this game. They need to go into their bye week with a solid win against an inferior opponent otherwise they will be sorely suited for the divisional round. There will be too many questions being asked inside the locker room otherwise.

The Panthers will be without Steve Smith, who broke his arm on a touchdown catch last week against the New York Giants. That should take a ton of pressure off of the scattered New Orleans’ secondary.

Saints win. They better win.

Jacksonville at Cleveland:
Jacksonville is the better overall team, but I’m taking the Browns to continue their win streak behind Jerome Harrison’s hot streak. This crazy guy has put up 434 yards in the past two weeks. I have to figure that they will continue on this track.

Feed him the ball. Feed him!

New England at Houston:
A doofus from the Pittsburgh Steelers is adamant that the Patriots and the Bengals are going to “lay down” to their respective opponents this week because they are afraid of the Steelers making it into the playoffs. If these teams lose, the Steelers are out of the playoffs even if they beat Miami.

I really don’t think that Pittsburgh playoff chances are any factor in any decision that Bill Belichick is going to make in this game. The Patriots really don’t have anything to really gain by playing all of their starters for the entire game this weekend, but I figure that they will play for most of the game. The same goes for Cincinnati.

These teams need to go into the first round of the playoffs on a solid note, and resting their starters for the entire game would not be the way to do it.

NY Giants at Minnesota:
I’m taking the Vikings again this week. Probably a dumb idea.

The Vikings has dropped three of their last four games. Their advantage is that the Giants are a dysfunctional team and are now out of the playoffs. They have nothing left to play for, and if they couldn’t get it together to keep themselves in the hunt of for a Wild Card slot, then I’m not sure if they do it this week.

The Vikings are currently the number three seed. They can get the second seed, and a bye week, with a win and a Philadelphia loss.

I figure they will win this game, and Brett Favre will hug it out after the game with Brad Childress.

Gross.

Pittsburgh at Miami:
The Steelers need help to make It into the Wild Card round. But they have to start by beating the Dolphins in Miami this week. They can’t control anything else.

This is not going to be an easy game for the Steelers but I think they will leave the dumb comments at home and put together a good game.

Chicago at Detroit:
Even if the Bears win this game, they will still be ending the season with a losing record. It has now been three straight years without a playoff appearance since losing the Super Bowl.

Changes will be made in Chicago this offseason. It’s hard to say exactly what though. I have a feeling that Lovie Smith will be back this year, but if the Bears lose to Detroit…

Anything can happen.

2010 NLF Season - Week 16 Picks

I always start getting a little depressed around this time of year. It doesn’t have anything to do with the holidays. It’s just the bitter realization that football is coming to a close and pretty soon it will be the cold, dark days of deepest winter and early spring where there is nothing to comfort me other than the occasional news regarding free agency, the draft, and organized team activities.

Woeful.

But it’s not over yet. So, rejoice…

There are still a lot of teams struggling to make the playoffs, and even the reigning Super Bowl champions, the Pittsburgh Steelers, are not technically out of it yet despite a six game losing streak.

Unfortunately, even if they lose the next two games, it looks like the San Diego Chargers will be the second seed in the AFC. Which brings me to…

San Diego at Tennessee:
I’m taking Tennessee for the win in this game. I know that the Chargers don’t lose in December, and that thought really makes me mad since I really don’t like the Chargers but I’m taking the Titans anyways.

They’re at home, and playing for a Wild Card spot. I figure they have to pull this one out. Chris Johnson has a lot of yards left to gain in his two remaining games and this is a great place to start against the Chargers’ 21st ranked rush defense.

Unfortunately, Tennessee has the 31st ranked pass defense, and that’s what the Chargers do.

But I’m taking the Titans anyway. Screw you, Rivers.

Kansas City at Cincinnati:
It was a tough loss last week for the Bengals in San Diego. They have to keep playing hard their final two games in order to keep any kind of momentum going into the playoffs.

The Bengals should be able to win this game outright.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh:
The Steelers aren’t out of the race yet, even though it seems they did their best to try and eliminate themselves with a six game losing streak.

They need to beat the Ravens at home, and they will.

NY Jets at Indianapolis:
The Colts are so close to achieving a perfect regular season. I figure they will have to go for it. That means bad news for the New York Jets.

Minnesota at Chicago:
The final Monday night game of the season is going to be a stinker. The Vikings travel to Chicago and look to keep the second seed in the NFC. Philadelphia is right behind them, so a loss in Chicago (unlikely) and a Phillie win (likely) would put the Eagles into the second seed.

Nothing would make me happier than that. It would be a helluva Christmas present.

The only thing going in the Bears’ favor right now is going to be the weather. The Bears need to capitalize on this and beat the hell out of Peterson and Favre.

Of course, that is also taking into consideration the fact that the anemic Bears’ offense would miraculously manage to become a scoring offense.

That would be a helluva Christmas present, too.

I would love for the Vikings to lose the second seed to the Philadelphia Eagles and, if they made it through the first round, watch as they have to play outdoors at the Eagles in a divisional round.

Bye, bye, Favre. Bye, bye, Vikings.

Go Bears, go.

If you do one thing right this season, beat the hell out of the Vikings on national television. Send Favre to the retirement village with a busted clavicle and a lump on his head the size of his ego.

2010 NFL Season - Week 15 Results

My dream for a Super Bowl featuring two unbeaten teams went crashing down around my ears on Saturday night as the Dallas Cowboys beat the New Orleans Saints. Tough one to lose: at home and it helps keep the Cowboys playoff hopes alive.

Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts won their Thursday night game, so we still have one unbeaten team left in the NFL this season but it really isn’t the same thing.

The Chicago Bears got pummeled by the Baltimore Ravens. Once again, the mighty Bears’ defense has made a mediocre quarterback appear exceptional as Joe Flacco had the best professional game of his short career as he threw four touchdowns and no interceptions.

I won’t even go into how badly the Bears’ offense played. I just can’t do it.

New England scraped together another division win, and just as important, Miami and the Jets lost. That helps.

Cincinnati put together a good game against the San Diego Chargers but couldn’t hold on for the win in overtime. Best of luck to the Bengals with their emotional loss in San Diego, and in the locker room.

Minnesota is reeling right now after a loss to the lowly Carolina Panthers. Signs of friction between the QB and the head coach? Sweet.

2010 NFL Season - Week 10 Picks

Week 10 of the NFL season is here and the games now begin on Thursday every week.

For those of you complaining that you can’t watch the game because it is on the NFL Network, get over it. Get a different cable provider or go to a bar. You either want to see these games or you don’t. Simple as that.

Of course, you probably really don’t want to see tonight’s matchup of a 3 – 5 team hosting a 4 – 4 team, but there it is. It’s still football, and it’s still the only thing worth watching on TV.

What else would you do? Watch the NBA?

Dumbass.

Chicago at San Francisco:
I’m taking the Bears to win this game because I’m an even bigger dumbass than somebody who thinks the NBA is a great league.

In order to win, the Bears need to focus on stopping Frank Gore. Simple as that. The rest of the game would sort itself out if they can stop the running game. Problem is, the Bears have not been able to do that lately and are now giving up an average of 119 yards on the ground.

The offense needs to get going early and score points. If the Bears can get the score up early on the 49ers they will have to abandon the running game and rely on Alex Smith to win the game.

Atlanta at Carolina:
Atlanta wins this game and gets another notch under their belt in the closing weeks of the wild card race in the NFL. This is a division game so it won’t be an easy win, but the Falcons will win.

Tampa Bay at Miami:
Miami wins. The Buc’s win against the Packers last week was an aberration. They will not get it done on the road this week.

Detroit at Minnesota:
This has a feeling of a trap game all over it, but I am still going to take the Vikings over the lowly Lions this week. The Vikings are coming off a bye week and might have gotten fat and lazy with all of that time off while they reflect on the Super Bowl win they are already telling themselves is theirs.

Fat and lazy? Time to stack up on some Star Caps.

Jacksonville at NY Jets:
Jets win. I don’t like it, but I don’t see them losing to the Jaguars at home this week. I hate the Jets, so I would really like to see them lose. Especially at home. I want to see that jerk with the Jets fireman hat cry.

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh:
The Bengals are on a roll this season. They’ve beaten Baltimore twice and already beaten the Steelers once. That stops this Sunday. Steelers win at home and start to close the gap for the AFC North.

New Orleans at St. Louis:
C’mon. New Orleans is going to beat the living hell out of the Rams.

Buffalo at Tennessee:
Tennessee takes the win at home. Trent Edwards will be starting for the Bills this week, but they have no mo’ T.O.

Denver at Washington:
Denver gets exactly what it needs after two tough losses in a row coming out of their bye week: The Washington Redskins.

Kansas City at Oakland:
This game was a real toss-up for me. I have to give it to Oakland simply because they are at home.

Seattle at Arizona:
Arizona destroyed the Bears last week on the road. Now they play at home where they have not played as well this season. Arizona pulls a win against a reeling Seahawks team.

Dallas at Green Bay:
I know that the Packers are supposed to be invincible at Lambeau Field. Or at least that’s the myth. Bull. As in bull rush.

The Cowboys’ pass rush will make Aaron Rodgers wish Brett Favre was still in Green Bay. Matt Flynn better take some precautionary snaps with the first team this week because he may be going in before this game is over.

Romo continues his streak of owning the month of November as he gets ready to fall on his face in December. But it’s not December, yet.

Philadelphia at San Diego:
I really hate the San Diego Chargers. But they do play very well at home. The Eagles are falling apart along their offensive line, and that will not bode well in a hostile environment like San Diego. Chargers win. Dammit.

New England at Indianapolis:
Clash of the Titans? What other nifty little things can the media come up with to name their promos for this game?

It actually is though. This is a matchup of two of the best quarterbacks to ever play the game. And we get to watch. If you are not watching this game on Sunday night, you are a communist and should be put against a wall.

Not watching this game will make Baby Jesus cry, and you don’t want that.

In what may be a preview of the AFC Championship game in January, I’m taking the Patriots for the win.

Baltimore at Cleveland:
Wow. I guess I’ll take Baltimore. Brady Quinn gets the nod to start this week, but who knows? If Ray Lewis and Ed Reed have anything to say about it, the Browns might have to put Derek Anderson in after they take Quinn off the field on a stretcher.