Sarcastiholic

2010 NFL Season – Divisional Round – Cowboys at Vikings

The first game of Sunday will feature the last NFC matchup between the Vikings and the Cowboys. This game really doesn’t give me anyone to root for.

One hand, the Cowboys are probably my least favorite team in the entire NFL. America’s Team? No wonder the rest of the world hates our guts.

On the other are the Minnesota Vikings. As a Bears’ fan I really can’t root for success by these guys and Brett Favre in particular.

This does not mean that I can’t or won’t enjoy this game. They actually match up pretty well. Both teams feature a solid running complemented by a groups of young, and upcoming wide receivers all led by gunslingers at the quarterback position.

Tony Romo’s idol growing up in Wisconsin? Hmm… I guess that would be Favre.

I like the even matchup of the Cowboys’ enormous offensive line against the Vikings’ defensive ability to stop the run and get pressure on the quarterback. That should make for some good battles in the trenches, and that’s where it all starts after all.

Meanwhile, Dallas’ front seven have been playing outstanding football and they will get to tee off against a Vikings team that will need to prove that their line is as good as the pundits have claimed.

The play of the secondary has been the Achilles’ heel of both of these teams throughout the regular season. However, the Dallas secondary has played better over the final games of the season whereas the Vikings have been flat.

Actually, the Vikings have been flat on both sides of the ball for their final games of the regular season and that is not the way you want to enter the playoffs.

Dallas is feeling their oats, and the Vikings are not.

Turnovers will be the key to the game (as they usually are). And staying true to form, I expect Brett Favre to have a meltdown by throwing the ball up for grabs. I also expect for the Dallas defense to swarm on Adrian Peterson and get him to cough up the ball like he often does.

Dallas wins.

2010 NLF Season - Week 16 Picks

I always start getting a little depressed around this time of year. It doesn’t have anything to do with the holidays. It’s just the bitter realization that football is coming to a close and pretty soon it will be the cold, dark days of deepest winter and early spring where there is nothing to comfort me other than the occasional news regarding free agency, the draft, and organized team activities.

Woeful.

But it’s not over yet. So, rejoice…

There are still a lot of teams struggling to make the playoffs, and even the reigning Super Bowl champions, the Pittsburgh Steelers, are not technically out of it yet despite a six game losing streak.

Unfortunately, even if they lose the next two games, it looks like the San Diego Chargers will be the second seed in the AFC. Which brings me to…

San Diego at Tennessee:
I’m taking Tennessee for the win in this game. I know that the Chargers don’t lose in December, and that thought really makes me mad since I really don’t like the Chargers but I’m taking the Titans anyways.

They’re at home, and playing for a Wild Card spot. I figure they have to pull this one out. Chris Johnson has a lot of yards left to gain in his two remaining games and this is a great place to start against the Chargers’ 21st ranked rush defense.

Unfortunately, Tennessee has the 31st ranked pass defense, and that’s what the Chargers do.

But I’m taking the Titans anyway. Screw you, Rivers.

Kansas City at Cincinnati:
It was a tough loss last week for the Bengals in San Diego. They have to keep playing hard their final two games in order to keep any kind of momentum going into the playoffs.

The Bengals should be able to win this game outright.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh:
The Steelers aren’t out of the race yet, even though it seems they did their best to try and eliminate themselves with a six game losing streak.

They need to beat the Ravens at home, and they will.

NY Jets at Indianapolis:
The Colts are so close to achieving a perfect regular season. I figure they will have to go for it. That means bad news for the New York Jets.

Minnesota at Chicago:
The final Monday night game of the season is going to be a stinker. The Vikings travel to Chicago and look to keep the second seed in the NFC. Philadelphia is right behind them, so a loss in Chicago (unlikely) and a Phillie win (likely) would put the Eagles into the second seed.

Nothing would make me happier than that. It would be a helluva Christmas present.

The only thing going in the Bears’ favor right now is going to be the weather. The Bears need to capitalize on this and beat the hell out of Peterson and Favre.

Of course, that is also taking into consideration the fact that the anemic Bears’ offense would miraculously manage to become a scoring offense.

That would be a helluva Christmas present, too.

I would love for the Vikings to lose the second seed to the Philadelphia Eagles and, if they made it through the first round, watch as they have to play outdoors at the Eagles in a divisional round.

Bye, bye, Favre. Bye, bye, Vikings.

Go Bears, go.

If you do one thing right this season, beat the hell out of the Vikings on national television. Send Favre to the retirement village with a busted clavicle and a lump on his head the size of his ego.

2010 NFL Season - Week 03 Picks

2010 NFL Season – Week 03 Picks

There should be some great games this week. There are every week though. God, I love the NFL.

There are lots of teams on the cusp of washing their season out. There are lots of teams that are hot running out of the gate, and there are lots of coaches and QB’s on the Hot Seat.

I love the NFL.

Cleveland at Baltimore:
How could you not take Baltimore? I have to take Baltimore to win this game. Who wouldn’t? I honestly don’t know how Eric Mangini became a head coach. I think Browns’ fans are going to be wondering the same thing pretty soon, if they aren’t already.

Question: If Eric Mangini only wins three or four games this year, does he get fired? I think the ownership seriously considers it.

Green Bay at St. Louis:
I have no love for St. Louis. None. Not their baseball team, not their football team, and not their stupid arch. But I’m still going to feel a bit bad for them when the Packers get through stomping on them for four quarters. Sorry, St. Louis. I don’t think you have a chance in this game. But I really hate Green Bay, so I obviously hope you do win. I just don’t see it happening.

Kansas City at Philadelphia:
I think Kansas City is a team that is going to be on the upturn this season. I don’t think that means that they win a lot of games this year, but I think they are going to round the corner as a franchise and makes some steps towards improving. I think they were idiots for letting Tony Gonzalez go. Kevin Kolb threw for over 300 yards last week against a mediocre New Orleans secondary. I think he can do the same this week against a similar Kansas City team while Donovan McNabb eats his Chunky Soup on the sideline and tries to keep Jeff Garcia from stealing his crackers. Michael Vick should make his first real NFL appearance in two years. I think the Eagles pay homage to the WildCat and throw Vick out there for a couple of downs to get his feet wet, give upcoming defensive coordinators something to chew on, and introduce him on the hometown field.

Atlanta at New England:
New England pulls it together and gets the win on their home turf. The offensive line forgets that they are old, tired, and haven’t been able to stop a pass rush in a couple of years. They give Tom Brady more than two seconds to set up in the pocket and find Randy Moss down the sides for a couple of touchdowns. Tony Gonzalez is going to score this game. There is almost no doubt about that. The Patriots need to limit that as much as possible and not get mown down by the running game (which ain’t going to be easy to do). The linebackers really need to step up.

San Francisco at Minnesota:
This is the only matchup between un-beaten teams this week and I’m really looking forward to it. I like how aggressive the 49ers defense has been playing this year and am really looking forward to seeing the MLB Patrick Willis shut Adrian Peterson down. Brett Favre broke a nail. He might have to reschedule his manicure this week and start earning his pay. I’m going with the 49ers for the upset. Minnesota has some injuries on defense, and I think the 49ers give Peterson his second, worst career game (previously 14 carries for 3 yard against the 49ers in 2007). I would love to see that again.

Washington at Detroit:
This game is blacked out, which is probably for the best. I think the Redskins aren’t going to “wow” anyone in this game by winning a game that they should. I definitely think that the Lions come out and give head coach Jim Zorn a run for his money. I think a win is coming for Detroit, but I don’t think they get it this week. This is not because I think the Washington Redskins are too good for the Detroit Lions to beat. I think they don’t get the win this week because they are still trying to figure out their Jeckyll and Hyde mentality. They come out as a different team in the second half, and it has not been the good one.

Question: If Washington gives Detroit their first win in… well, forever… how closely will Jim Zorn be feeling the blade of the guillotine on his neck? Unless the Redskins make the playoffs this year (which they won’t) I think Mike Shanahan is going to be the Redskins’ coach next year.

Tennessee at New York Jets:
I’m taking the Titans this week for their first win of the season against everybody’s darling New York Jets. I think the Jets’ defense is playing really well so far this season, but I think that comes to an end this week against the first team that they are playing that can really run the ball. I’m looking for the Titans to overload onto Mark Sanchez and make him win the game. A lot of people are saying that he has already done that, but he has not. He threw a touchdown pass last week but that was it. Let’s see if he can put this team on his back and get a couple of long scoring drives on a team that can actually play defense. I think the Titans miss the bulk of Haynesworth in the middle of that line, but they still have a lot of big bodies that can put a lot of pressure on a quarterback. Let’s see how the rookie does this weekend before we start kissing his rings. Oh yeah, he doesn’t have any. And, oh yeah… I hate the Jets.

New Orleans at Buffalo:
New Orleans wins. This comes down to a shoot out and Drew Brees is quicker on the draw right now than anybody. I am expecting a big T.O. moment this week, and I don’t mean a play on the field. Dick Jauron will have to go back to his grandson’s Pop Warner coach and try to raid the offensive playbook again.

Chicago at Seattle:
The Bears aren’t favored by much against a Seahawks team that is missing it’s starting quarterback, and a whole bunch of other players. I know it’s supposed to be hard to play in Seattle with all of the noise they pump in, and the really good coffee, and those guys that throw fish down at the market that they’re always showing on TV… But, really? I know the Bears haven’t exactly blown their previous two opponents out of the water, but they have played a progressively better six quarters of football as compared to their opponent. I look for the Bears to get off the plane running the ball this game and finally get their TE Greg Olsen more involved in the game other than letting him drop a few passes. I think the Bears will be able to spread the ball around a little better this week by not having to worry about a high-end secondary taking away their options. Seneca Wallace is a good backup quarterback. But there is a reason that he has remained as the backup quarterback in Seattle for all of these years. If he was good enough to be a starter in the NFL, he would be a starter in the NFL. Someone would have come and gotten him if he was worth it. He’s going to get some yards on the Bears’ defense this week, but if they can take away T.J. Houshmanzadeh then I believe it will be a lot easier to limit the Seahawks ability to score.

Carolina at Dallas:
I’m picking Dallas to squeak out the win this week against a befuddled Carolina team. That’s not saying a lot. Jake Delhomme is not playing 90 million dollar football. I’m not sure he ever has. He had two good years in the early part of this decade culminating in a Super Bowl loss to the New England Patriots. The Panthers had a lucky season last year, winning a lot of their games under their old moniker of the Cardiac Cats. That name wasn’t given to them because they were giving their opponents heart palpitations with their dynamic play (although their defense used to be pretty damn good). This is because they would have to come from behind and win the game in the final minutes. I think Dallas does that this week by pulling off the late 4th quarter win that they couldn’t at home against the New York Giants last week. I think Jerry Jones will be looking at another helping of humble pie in his 1.2 billion dollar stadium this year as the Cowboys continue to stumble and miss the playoffs. They win this week, but they ain’t gonna win them all.