Sarcastiholic

2010 NFL Season - Week 12 Picks

It’s Thanksgiving and that means three games on Thursday. Happy Thanksgiving, indeed.

Green Bay at Detroit:
This game really doesn’t give me anybody to root for. I hate the Packers more than the Lions though, so I guess I’m rooting for them. They won’t win though. No Stafford, no win. He was the best chance they had and he’s done.

Oakland at Dallas:
America’s Team. It makes me want to puke and move to Canada every time I hear that crap.

Despite the Raiders having beat two teams they should not have (Philadelphia and Cincinnati) I have to take Dallas at home even though they have struggled the past couple of weeks.

NY Giants at Denver:
About five weeks ago, picking Denver would have be a no-brainer. Now, though… I have to take the Giants on the road to eek out a win against the Broncos. I hate doing it (because I hate those damn Manning kids) but I don’t think the Broncos will be able to muster enough offense to be able to win this game.

Chicago at Minnesota:
I hate the Vikings. Damn, I hate them. But I don’t see how the Bears go into Minnesota and get a win against these jerks. I just don’t and it kills me to say it.

New England at New Orleans:
The game of the week. New Orleans is favored and at home. I guess that’s why I’m taking New England for the win. I think the Patriots get it done on the road and pull off the win. I don’t think it will be a dominating performance by the Patriots, but I am guessing they pull off the victory.

2010 NFL Season - Week 11 Results

I went 12 – 4 this week for a staggering 75% pick of the winners but at what cost? I picked against Chicago, and sure enough they lost to the Philadelphia Eagles like I figured they would. I said it out loud, and I didn’t want to. But there it was…

I’m really sick of the “they are who we thought they were” crap that’s being flung around about the Bears. I am sicker of the continued bad play calling and bad playing of the Bears. They really need to accept the fact that a playoff run is a pipe dream and begin focusing on roster development and analysis for the next season.

I can only guess that my incredible number of correct picks this past week was a fluke. I am sure I will be back to normal again for this week.

2010 NFL Season - Week 11 Picks

Week 11 of the NFL Season kicks off tonight with another underwhelming matchup. Sorry to all those Dolphins fans out there. Really. I’m sorry.

Here are some quick, nonsensical thoughts on the games…

Miami at Carolina:
Both teams are suffering through some injuries that will drastically change the dynamics of these teams, but the Dolphins loss is the greatest. Carolina keeps the running game going and gets the win at home.

Indianapolis at Baltimore:
God, I hate those Manning kids. Last week’s win against the New England Patriots keeps the Colts undefeated going into the eleventh week of the season. I don’t think that changes this week. Baltimore’s offense has struggled since their quick burst at the start of the season. The only way they win this game is to run the hell out of the football and try to keep Manning off the field as much as possible. It didn’t work when the Dolphins did it, but it’s about the only thing you can do.

New Orleans at Tampa Bay:
I’m taking the Saints to continue their win streak, but this has the first loss of the season for New Orleans written all over it. They’re away from the gumbo and the dome, and Tampa has been playing tough at home lately.

San Diego at Denver:
The Chargers are going to head into Denver this week and give the Broncos another loss to continue the streak. Coach of the Year honors are pretty much gone at this point for Josh McDaniels and so is Kyle Orton. Orton is not the best quarterback, but he is a helluva lot better than Chris Simms.

NY Jets at New England:
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the Jets? No?

I really hate the Jets. I hate them.

I have to take New England for the win this week. After last week’s defensive meltdown against the Colts, and the Jets having won the first game of the division series this season, I have to guess that Belichick has got this team frothing at the mouth.

I look for New England to give Rex Ryan something else to cry about. Screw you, Jets.

Philadelphia at Chicago:
This game is going to end up being so lopsided in the Eagles’ favor by halftime that Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth will have very little else to talk about other than how Donovan McNabb is from Chicago… and look! There’s his parents along with fifty other family members and close friends. Did you know that Mama McNabb made dinner for all of the Eagles’ last night? It was great! The food was really good. She’s such a sweet woman…

If Madden was still in the booth they’d do a big sideshow of showing the food, circling the food with his magic pen, etc. etc. I have to guess they will do the same thing because they will have a lot of room to fill as the Bears get destroyed in this game.

The other item they will talk about incessantly will be the fact that the Bears refused to do an interview with Bob Costas. So what? Who the hell wants to talk to Bob Costas? I seriously doubt anyone watching the game wants to hear what Bob Costas has to say.

Do you think Bob Costas’ wife wants to listen to him? Doubt it.

But they will talk about it. A lot, I’m guessing.

A lot of the media are taking the stance on this issue that this is a bad PR move for the Bears due to the fact it doesn’t allow the Bears to answer the statements that they are a football team going through a lot of issues.

Of course they are a bad football team going through a lot of issues. What part of answering questions to Bob Costas would change any of that? Nothing. Screw Bob Costas.

I might have to turn all of this into a drinking game. I’ll have to take a swig every time they mention any of these things:

McNabb is from Chicago
McNabb’s family (especially his mama)
Bears’ refusal to give an interview this week
Chunky Soup (his mama, again, actually)

2010 NFL Season - Week 10 Results

I made some bad picks last week. Can’t wait to do it again this week.

I should have known better than to pick the Bears to win a prime time game, but the pick on the Denver Broncos against the Washington Redskins was a no-brainer (I thought).

New England losing to Indianapolis was painful. I hate those damn Manning kids.

Even more painful, was watching the Monday night game.

The Chicago Bears Are Not Helping My Self-Image

It’s the midway point of the 2010 NFL Season and time to take a long, cold, hard look at the team. For those of you with a weak constitution, you should be warned. It isn’t pretty.

Right now, the Bears are 4 – 4 (.500), having lost 3 of the last four games. Two of those games were blowouts. Additionally, the Bears only have one win against a team with a winning record, Pittsburgh.

Apparently, the “Any Given Sunday” rule was in effect that day. It didn’t hurt that the Steelers were missing Troy Polamalu and that Jeff Reed missed two very makeable field goals.

The other three wins were against Seattle (3 – 5), Detroit (1 – 7), and Cleveland (1 – 7). These teams are currently in the bottom depths of the NFL. Wins against these teams are not to be lauded. Even more unfortunate, is that Chicago is not very far away from being one of these teams.

Last Sunday, the once proud Bears’ defense allowed over 180 yards on the ground. This was done by the Arizona Cardinals who had the second worst running game heading into the ninth week. Oh, yeah. While that was going on, Kurt Warner also burned the secondary for 5 touchdown passes while going a perfect 6 for 6 on third down conversions in the first half.

Go ahead and throw up. I know I did.

The terrible truth to all of this is that the Chicago Bears are not a good football team. This is the third year removed from a Super Bowl appearance, and we are getting progressively worse due to bad drafts, mismanagement of personnel, bad play calling, and what appears to be apathy by the current roster.

So the question remains, how can this be fixed? In the short term, I do not believe it can. The long term solutions range all over the field. Many are calling for the head coach and general manager to be replaced. This is not going to happen. Whether it should happen or not, is beyond the point at this present time or even next season. Jerry Angelo and Lovie Smith are not going to be replaced next season. The cost in dollars against the guaranteed contract extensions that these two signed prohibits that move by a franchise as thrifty as the Chicago Bears.

Additionally, there is still the threat of a holdout/walkout/strike (whatever you want to call it) next season if the NFL and Player’s Union can not strike out a new deal. The Bears will not pay Angelo and/or Smith for the remainder of their contracts, then go out and have to spend the same amount to hire a new coach and/or general manager and then watch them sit for a year while the NFL and Player’s Union try and hammer out a new agreement. The Bears would be paying two general managers and two head coaches for one season, while bringing in no new revenue. This is not going to happen.

So, it would like look like the Bears have Angelo and Smith for at least another year, if not longer. This still leaves us with the following questions:

What can we do to stop sucking this season?

How can we stop ourselves from sucking next season and the year after that?

First off, this season is not completely gone. I am not drinking the Lovie Smith kool-aid. This is a fact. The fact is that the Bears could still make a wild card spot with a 10 – 6 record. The Bears can only lose two more games this year because a 9 – 7 record will not get a wild card spot in the NFC.

If they win six of the next eight games, they have a shot at the playoffs. After that, who knows what can happen. Ask the 9 – 7 Cardinals if the impossible can happen. They came within 45 seconds of winning a Super Bowl nobody thought they could get to last season against one of the best defenses this league has seen in years.

Can the Bears win 6 out of their next eight games? Yes. But it will not be easy. The Bears have games left against St. Louis and Detroit. After that, it is not going to be pretty. The have upcoming games against San Francisco, Philadelphia, Green Bay, Baltimore, and two against Minnesota.

They could get four wins from San Francisco, St. Louis, Green Bay, and Detroit. None of these teams have winning records right now. Green Bay will be playing in Chicago and the Bears can win that game. That would leave two wins needed against Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Minnesota. It should be noted that the second Minnesota game is in week 16 at Chicago. There is a good chance that the Vikings will have the division sealed up by then, and maybe even their conference spot sewed up. The Bears could be facing a lackluster Vikings team with nothing to prove and steal a win.

In other words, there is a lot that has to happen for the Bears to get a wild card spot this year. Don’t forget that Chicago has already lost games to Atlanta and Green Bay which could come back as a tie-breaker for any 10 – 6 team trying to get a wild card spot. A loss to Philadelphia would not help either since they are probably going to be one of the other teams vying for these same spots.

But how can the Bears even get these wins in the first place (or at least be less sucky)? I am not sure that they can. Therefore I believe that the Bears need to start preparing for the future while in the present.

The following link is to a document I have drafted that puts all my thoughts and suggestions to answering this question down in black and white. I am not putting it into this post because it is too long. If you are interested or care, please open the separate PDF file and read away:

A Systematic Breakdown Of The 2009 Chicago Bears

Maybe the ideas in this document are asinine. But something needs to be done. Something needs to change.