Sarcastiholic

2010 NFL Season - Week 03 Results

I’m getting worse with my picks, as the totals will show. There were some close games that I missed on, and some games that I completely whiffed on.

Some of these games were definite no-brainers. And there were some that I felt were surprises, and close games.

I’m really pissed about one game in particular. God, I hate that Brett Favre guy. He totally blew my upset pick of the 49ers. If I ever meet him, I am asking him for the ten bucks I lost because of the last second touchdown he threw.

You got that, Favre? You owe me ten bucks. You were supposed to throw a pick. You almost always throw a pick. You fling it up and the defender catches it. Well, about half the time that happens. I guess you get this one, but I still want my ten bucks back. I hope you get pelted with cheeseballs this week and the locals have a Number 4 jersey burning outside of Lambeau Field.

And I was pretty wrong on the Titans. The New York Jets got it done and got a big win against another AFC team. The Jets defense definitely seems like it is going to be something to worry about this season.

And, yes, Mark Sanchez proved that he can win in this league. He threw another couple of touchdowns and no picks. He’s 3 – 0 to start in his rookie season. Everyone thinks he’s great. Maybe he will be. Damn good start, that’s for sure. I still hate the Jets though. Screw ‘em.

I probably owe Seneca Wallace an apology. He played a damn good game this week against Chicago, and I think he actually created more problems for the Bears’ defense than Matt Hasselbeck would have. Wallace was moving well in the pocket, and scrambling to extend plays, and making some good throws down the field.

With all of their injuries, the Seahawks pretty much slapped the Bears around during that game. They got consistent pressure on the quarterback, held the run game in serious check after giving up a couple of hundred yards the previous week, and moved the ball down the field all afternoon.

Chicago did neutralize smack-talking T.J. Houshmandzadeh who stated that he would definitely win 95% of his matchups against the Bears’ secondary last Sunday. Oops. Four catches for 35 yards. Way to go, man. That’s the way you beat a cornerback into submission. Get a haircut.

But the most important thing is that Chicago pulled it off in the end. The offense got a game winning drive for a score in the final minutes, and the defense didn’t give it away after the score. It’s a good win in a tough environment.

I missed on a lot of the games this week, but I was right about Terrell Owens though. The T.O moments are starting, but to be fair, this episode is being created by the media. They will continue to push him till he breaks, and truthfully, it would not be fair if Owens hadn’t created this monster in the first place. He still gets the blame, and deserves it, because he started it all by being an idiot.

Oh, yeah. And the Pittsburgh Steelers are now 1 – 2 to start the season. Sweet.

2010 NFL Season - Week 03 Picks

2010 NFL Season – Week 03 Picks

There should be some great games this week. There are every week though. God, I love the NFL.

There are lots of teams on the cusp of washing their season out. There are lots of teams that are hot running out of the gate, and there are lots of coaches and QB’s on the Hot Seat.

I love the NFL.

Cleveland at Baltimore:
How could you not take Baltimore? I have to take Baltimore to win this game. Who wouldn’t? I honestly don’t know how Eric Mangini became a head coach. I think Browns’ fans are going to be wondering the same thing pretty soon, if they aren’t already.

Question: If Eric Mangini only wins three or four games this year, does he get fired? I think the ownership seriously considers it.

Green Bay at St. Louis:
I have no love for St. Louis. None. Not their baseball team, not their football team, and not their stupid arch. But I’m still going to feel a bit bad for them when the Packers get through stomping on them for four quarters. Sorry, St. Louis. I don’t think you have a chance in this game. But I really hate Green Bay, so I obviously hope you do win. I just don’t see it happening.

Kansas City at Philadelphia:
I think Kansas City is a team that is going to be on the upturn this season. I don’t think that means that they win a lot of games this year, but I think they are going to round the corner as a franchise and makes some steps towards improving. I think they were idiots for letting Tony Gonzalez go. Kevin Kolb threw for over 300 yards last week against a mediocre New Orleans secondary. I think he can do the same this week against a similar Kansas City team while Donovan McNabb eats his Chunky Soup on the sideline and tries to keep Jeff Garcia from stealing his crackers. Michael Vick should make his first real NFL appearance in two years. I think the Eagles pay homage to the WildCat and throw Vick out there for a couple of downs to get his feet wet, give upcoming defensive coordinators something to chew on, and introduce him on the hometown field.

Atlanta at New England:
New England pulls it together and gets the win on their home turf. The offensive line forgets that they are old, tired, and haven’t been able to stop a pass rush in a couple of years. They give Tom Brady more than two seconds to set up in the pocket and find Randy Moss down the sides for a couple of touchdowns. Tony Gonzalez is going to score this game. There is almost no doubt about that. The Patriots need to limit that as much as possible and not get mown down by the running game (which ain’t going to be easy to do). The linebackers really need to step up.

San Francisco at Minnesota:
This is the only matchup between un-beaten teams this week and I’m really looking forward to it. I like how aggressive the 49ers defense has been playing this year and am really looking forward to seeing the MLB Patrick Willis shut Adrian Peterson down. Brett Favre broke a nail. He might have to reschedule his manicure this week and start earning his pay. I’m going with the 49ers for the upset. Minnesota has some injuries on defense, and I think the 49ers give Peterson his second, worst career game (previously 14 carries for 3 yard against the 49ers in 2007). I would love to see that again.

Washington at Detroit:
This game is blacked out, which is probably for the best. I think the Redskins aren’t going to “wow” anyone in this game by winning a game that they should. I definitely think that the Lions come out and give head coach Jim Zorn a run for his money. I think a win is coming for Detroit, but I don’t think they get it this week. This is not because I think the Washington Redskins are too good for the Detroit Lions to beat. I think they don’t get the win this week because they are still trying to figure out their Jeckyll and Hyde mentality. They come out as a different team in the second half, and it has not been the good one.

Question: If Washington gives Detroit their first win in… well, forever… how closely will Jim Zorn be feeling the blade of the guillotine on his neck? Unless the Redskins make the playoffs this year (which they won’t) I think Mike Shanahan is going to be the Redskins’ coach next year.

Tennessee at New York Jets:
I’m taking the Titans this week for their first win of the season against everybody’s darling New York Jets. I think the Jets’ defense is playing really well so far this season, but I think that comes to an end this week against the first team that they are playing that can really run the ball. I’m looking for the Titans to overload onto Mark Sanchez and make him win the game. A lot of people are saying that he has already done that, but he has not. He threw a touchdown pass last week but that was it. Let’s see if he can put this team on his back and get a couple of long scoring drives on a team that can actually play defense. I think the Titans miss the bulk of Haynesworth in the middle of that line, but they still have a lot of big bodies that can put a lot of pressure on a quarterback. Let’s see how the rookie does this weekend before we start kissing his rings. Oh yeah, he doesn’t have any. And, oh yeah… I hate the Jets.

New Orleans at Buffalo:
New Orleans wins. This comes down to a shoot out and Drew Brees is quicker on the draw right now than anybody. I am expecting a big T.O. moment this week, and I don’t mean a play on the field. Dick Jauron will have to go back to his grandson’s Pop Warner coach and try to raid the offensive playbook again.

Chicago at Seattle:
The Bears aren’t favored by much against a Seahawks team that is missing it’s starting quarterback, and a whole bunch of other players. I know it’s supposed to be hard to play in Seattle with all of the noise they pump in, and the really good coffee, and those guys that throw fish down at the market that they’re always showing on TV… But, really? I know the Bears haven’t exactly blown their previous two opponents out of the water, but they have played a progressively better six quarters of football as compared to their opponent. I look for the Bears to get off the plane running the ball this game and finally get their TE Greg Olsen more involved in the game other than letting him drop a few passes. I think the Bears will be able to spread the ball around a little better this week by not having to worry about a high-end secondary taking away their options. Seneca Wallace is a good backup quarterback. But there is a reason that he has remained as the backup quarterback in Seattle for all of these years. If he was good enough to be a starter in the NFL, he would be a starter in the NFL. Someone would have come and gotten him if he was worth it. He’s going to get some yards on the Bears’ defense this week, but if they can take away T.J. Houshmanzadeh then I believe it will be a lot easier to limit the Seahawks ability to score.

Carolina at Dallas:
I’m picking Dallas to squeak out the win this week against a befuddled Carolina team. That’s not saying a lot. Jake Delhomme is not playing 90 million dollar football. I’m not sure he ever has. He had two good years in the early part of this decade culminating in a Super Bowl loss to the New England Patriots. The Panthers had a lucky season last year, winning a lot of their games under their old moniker of the Cardiac Cats. That name wasn’t given to them because they were giving their opponents heart palpitations with their dynamic play (although their defense used to be pretty damn good). This is because they would have to come from behind and win the game in the final minutes. I think Dallas does that this week by pulling off the late 4th quarter win that they couldn’t at home against the New York Giants last week. I think Jerry Jones will be looking at another helping of humble pie in his 1.2 billion dollar stadium this year as the Cowboys continue to stumble and miss the playoffs. They win this week, but they ain’t gonna win them all.

2010 NFL Season - Week 02 Results

Well, I didn’t get the picks quite as well this week (missed one more than last week), but I think there were some winners this week that nobody was really picking.

I should have stuck to my guns on Cincinnati, and went with my gut on that one but I took the Packers in the end and it cost me.

I was definitely wrong on the Arizona game. So much for my theories regarding this team and their inability to play on the East coast. I figured Jacksonville was going to be able to close down the Arizona pass game the way San Francisco did a week before. Well, to prove me wrong, all Kurt Warner did was go and set a new NFL record for completion percentages in that game. Shows what I know.

Oakland scraped a win. What else is there to say. At least they won.

I hate the New York Jets. There. I said it. I have to hand it to their pass rush (and blame the Patriot’s offensive line) because they were giving Tom Brady less than two seconds to try and get a pass off on a lot of those rushes. The Jets’ defense looks like the real deal, and the Patriots’ defense looks like exactly what it is right now: a giant band aid filled with young players that need to get it together in a hurry.

I didn’t see the Tennessee Titans dropping their first two and starting off their season 0 – 2. They had the best record in football last season and that usually doesn’t drop off that quickly. The loss of Albert Haynesworth alone can’t explain what is going on with that defense, but I have to figure that Jeff Fisher will get that figured out.

The San Francisco 49ers are playing tough so far this season. I didn’t think they would get the win against the Seahawks. Losing Matt Hasselbeck made all the difference in that game. Frank Gore running for over 200 yards probably didn’t help though.

The Squirrel Threat - They Are Everywhere... And Nowhere

A squirrel in Michigan has successfully breached our national security protocols by shutting down a Muncie, Michigan power station and cutting off the power to 1,300 residents.

The Star Press: Squirrel’s Antics Leave 1,300 Without Power

No permanent damage was rendered to the power facilities’ infrastructure, but it has been reported that the power outage clearly ruined a lunch of ravioli being served at a local elementary school where students were forced to eat sandwiches. In the dark.

I haven’t heard much out of the Department of Homeland Security yet regarding this latest threat to the security of the United States but I have to imagine that new referendums regarding squirrel registration will be forthcoming.

This should be just the type of agenda that the Republicans can rally behind in order to continue its fight against the socialist regime of the current Presidential administration and it’s continuing policy of leaving America vulnerable to attack.

I Thought This Bear Was Extinct

Seems kind of silly that we’re still going around and around in circles with the Russian Bear on these things. The Cold War seems like a forgotten problem from a kitschy newsreel in a movie from 20 years ago.

Yahoo News: Russia Says It Won’t Deploy Missiles Near Poland

Don’t the Russians realize that they have bigger problems? Don’t we?

I know some of this is continued fallout from the Bush administration and their continued effort to pump as many dollars into their friends’ corporate pocketbooks by funding every defense system known to man, but it seems pretty silly that we are still going over these same items when both countries have other problems to deal with.

Does anyone still believe that an Iron Curtain will descend across Europe? Are there still hordes of armored divisions waiting to cross Berlin and flood the helpless lowlands of Western Europe? I thought most of that hardware was sold to the US so we could feed the regional conflicts in the Middle East.

Do either of our governments realize that there is no Berlin Wall anymore? Have either taken note that Germany, and the EU as a collective whole, have been eating both of our economic lunches lately? The US can’t even keep their auto industry afloat, or field a solid telecommunications company (we’re all looking at you Motorola), so why are we trying to deploy missiles systems in Europe when they don’t even want them or feel they need them?

Do the Russians realize that their biggest concerns should be their internal economy and their deepest threats are the continued zaniness in the “Stans” and the PRC getting itchy for the land and resources that the Siberian wild to their north represent?

What about the United States? We have as many problems as the Russians, and most of them have nothing to do with the Russians despite their refusal to join us in shaking our fingers at some idiot’s remarks regarding the Holocaust.

Maybe both sides should sit down and watch Rocky IV. There are some lessons in that film that none of us should forget.

If Sylvester Stallone can see these things so clearly, why can’t the rest of us?