Sarcastiholic

Favre: "You Will Believe What I Say. Now Cluck Like A Chicken"

The news burst all over the place, NFL, ESPN, Twitter… on and on and on. Brett Favre is retired, and will not be joining the Minnesota Vikings for another season of NFL football.

Vikings.com: Childress Confirms Favre Decision To Vikings.com

Or is he?

The NFL Network reported at the end of their 7PM EST broadcast of NFL Total Access that per a discussion with Steve Mariucci, Favre will continue his throwing and training regimen. As the discussion went on, Eisen began to slink lower and lower into his chair.

From Rich Eisen, the host of NFL Total Access, on his Twitter account shortly after the broadcast:

“What a day! Now Favre tells our Mariucci that he’s going to keep throwing & wonders how he’ll feel about his decision in the AM. Is it over?”

I guess that we’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Too bad for Tavaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels. Just when they seemed set to be the top two contenders (sorry Booty, you don’t seem to count) for the starting spot at quarterback, the drama continues on like a daytime soap that brings characters back from the dead.

The saga continues.

Marvin Harrison Goes Hard Boiled?

ESPN is reporting this morning that a second man is filing a suit against former Indianapolis Colts wide receiver Marvin Harrison.

ESPN: Man Claims Harrison Shot Him

From the article:

“In the suit, Robert Nixon, 33, claims he saw Harrison shoot at another man with guns in each of his hands on April 29, 2008, and continue to fire when the target fled the scene in his car. He said Harrison “continued shooting at the other person … as [he] drove past plaintiff. In doing so, a bullet from defendant’s handgun struck plaintiff in the back with great force and violence.” “

Guns in each hand? Dual action?

I think Marvin’s street cred just went up, even if it is not true. That makes it sound like some seriously hardcore gangster $#IT! They say you always have to watch out for the quiet ones, but this is out of control and straight out of a John Woo movie.

Also per the ESPN article regarding the shooting incident:

“In interviews with police last year, Harrison acknowledged quarreling with Dixon. He also surrendered a rare Belgium 5.7-caliber handgun, fully loaded, to police who questioned him at his garage. According to prosecutors, ballistics tests later showed that the gun fired five of the six cartridge casings that were found at the shooting scene.
But while Harrison admitted to being in his garage during the melee, he denied having the gun with him that day, saying it was in his suburban home. Police and prosecutors have yet to reconcile how the gun could have been in Harrison’s home if it was used to shoot Dixon.”

Now, I don’t know how exact and accurate ESPN’s portrayal of the facts are in those last two paragraphs, but if they are remotely true… Bad news for Harrison…

As far as I know, guns don’t travel by themselves.

It's Official - The Big V Is Back

It’s official. And it’s the top story of the day.

Forget about Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Islamic rebellion in Nigeria. Forget about the economy, and major restaurant chains and retail establishments going under. Forget about global warming. Michael Vick has been reinstated.

I have to admit it, though. I’m very interested to see if the Minnesota Vikings make a play for him. Brad Childress doesn’t know what he’s going to do since Brett Favre isn’t playing nice.

Training camp opens this week. There really is nothing more important right now.

North Korea who? They run the WildCat?

Behold! The New Face Of Evil!

To Protect And Serve took on a new meaning for a couple of New Jersey’s finest:

Yahoo News: Groundhog Pepper Sprayed

As the groundhog loomed ever closer to the fallen police officer, it was an obvious choice for his partner. Kill or be killed.

They took that bitch down.

Jaime Dukes Loves Him Some Ocho Cinco

Jaime Dukes just released his pick for the teams that he believes will be the surprise playoff contenders for this upcoming NFL season on his blog for NFL.com. Every year, it seems, there are a couple of surprise teams that make a turn-around or improve enough to get over the hump and make it to the Wild Card.

Here’s Mr. Dukes’ picks:

NFL.com: Most Dangerous 2008 Non-Playoff Teams For 2009

Honestly? The Cincinnati Bengals?

Jaime Dukes is convinced that Chad Ocho Cinco and Carlson Palmer are going to push the Bengals into the playoffs in a conference an 11-5 team could not last year. The Bengals are going to go 12-4? 13-3?

Then again, upon reflection, I guess this is possible. I guess the Bengals won’t be affected by the loss of T.J. Who’sYourMomma. It probably really doesn’t matter that they have to beat out the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Baltimore Ravens in order to win their division. I guess it’s safe to say that their starting running back, Cedric Benson, will have a Pro-Bowl caliber season. I’m positive that after numerous years, Marvin Lewis has finally figured out what he needs to do to get his defense to a championship caliber.

In fact, the way this season is looking, I don’t see why the Bengals couldn’t be the first team since the 1972 Dolphins to have a perfect season. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. The more I think about it, the more excited I get.

I’m betting the farm on Cincinnati this year. Thanks Mr. Dukes.