Sarcastiholic

“When I was a kid, I was into the Jets, and then I got into girls as I got older. And then I got back into the Jets, because I realized there’s times when a girl won’t fuck you but the Jets will always fuck you.”

Comedian Artie Lang Speaking on NFL Network’s “Top 10 Most Snakebitten Franchises” special.

This is probably the only funny thing this guy has ever said, and it’s only funny because it’s true.

Milton Bradley Says It's True

“They Should. I’m here.”

Milton Bradley’s repsonse on whether the Chicago Cubs will win the NL Central this year.

Original Story: Chicago Tribune – Milton Bradley sure Chicago Cubs are top contenders

Reggie Bush - One Is The Loneliest Number

“.. and the thing that annoys me a lot about the NFL and about scouts and personnel guys is it’s all about speed. If the running back position was all about speed, then Reggie Bush would be a star in the NFL, and he’s not.”

Matt Hayes, Senior Writer, Sporting News on NFL Network’s “Path To The Draft” 03-24-2009, speaking about the upcoming NFL Draft, comparing the abilities of first round running backs.

John McCain is getting grumpy again - Naptime

“Well, I’ve been sleeping like a baby. I sleep two hours, wake up and cry. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry.”

Senator and former GOP presidential candidate John McCain, responding to comedian Jay Leno’s question of how he’s handling his loss to Barack Obama in the presidential election

“My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”